Crossfire
by Jet MacLeod
Summary: AU: Liv is a special agent/spy that is tasked with keeping Alex alive after she goes after a South American drug cartel. Liv's only task is to keep Alex alive. However, Alex isn't going to make that an easy task. She doesn't like taking orders well and is very spirited when it comes to Liv. Liv has to figure out a way to keep them both alive for Alex's court date or die trying.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She took apart her weapon and slowly, methodically packed it back into the hard black case. She continued to scan the horizon, looking to see if anyone had noticed her presence. It hadn't been easy but she'd made the shot. She would clean the rifle when she got back to her safe house. Until then, she would just keep moving. It was safer...for everyone.

It was her last job. She kept telling herself that, but she knew that the "company" wasn't going to let her go. They would let her "rest" and when they needed her specific skill set, they would call her back. She really didn't have a choice in the matter. She has been theirs from the beginning and she knew it. It was better than corning home to an abusive mother every night. Her rifle was her only family now. She took better care of her altered M40 and long range M82 then she did herself.

She sat back on her haunches as she closed the case and listened to the world around her. She was in it, but she wasn't part of it. She never had been, really. This wasn't the life she'd envisioned when she left home and joined the military. But, her upbringing and their training had groomed her for this and she knew it. They couldn't just let her walk away. They gave her a life. They gave her purpose and meaning. She couldn't leave unless they let her.

She was about to head out of her hide when her cell vibrated on her side. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the number. She shook her head. She knew that they already had another target in mind and they were going to get her to move on it quickly. She was their emergency clean up when everyone else failed. She wondered who screwed up this time. They knew she was on the job and hadn`t called in to confirm her kill. It had to be important if they were calling her so fast.

"Yeah?" she questioned as she answered the phone in greeting.

"We need you to come in," the male voice on the other end replied.

"Got another job already?"

"Something like that. It isn't target though. Can you make extraction in twenty?"

"Not a target? You got a mark for me to follow? You know I don't do that. I am strictly in eliminations now. I don`t do spy work. I am not trained for that. I won't do it."

"We can talk about this when you get back. Time is of the essence right now. Can you make your extraction or not? Do we need to move it?" he asked.

"No, I can make it. I was just packing up and ready to move. I'll be at the point in ten."

"Good, I'll see once you come back in. We have a lot to talk about. For now, just rest. I promise you that you'll like this new job. It will be perfect for you."

"Don't toy with me, Gregor. You know I'm about to retire. I'm done with this. This was supposed to be my last job. What the hell is going on?"

"You'll see when you get here. I can`t tell you right now. It isn't secure. But, trust me, Liv, you`ll like this assignment. It is a little more...permanent," he answered and then hung up before she could say anything in reply.

She sat in the tiny apartment, surprised that the world hadn't ended like she'd hoped. She was still alive. She had no purpose, but she was still alive. It was something that she could use to build a new life on, she mused.

She stared around at the blank, normal white walls and sighed. There was no way that she could go back and she knew that, but this nondescript place was now her personal Hell. She had no one to blame but herself and she knew that. She longed for the smell of the City, the sounds, the hustle and bustle. It was the City and its demons that almost killed her, but she couldn't think of another place that she wanted to be. It was near winter and she wanted to see the snow. She wanted feel the vibe that the City gave off, but she was stuck in the middle of nowhere's-ville with a new name.

She wondered how long she would have to stay in the apartment. The marshals had mentioned that they were giving her to a new handler. She wasn't sure that she liked the sound of that, but she was sure it was better than where she was at. She tried to listen in on their conversations so she could prepare herself for this new "handler," but nothing they said made since to her. She couldn't help but wonder if what some code that they were giving her.

She walked around the living room area of the small apartment, a mug of hot tea in hand. She peered out of the front picture window and sipped her tea trying to calm her nerves. As she looked around outside the window, her eyes met that of a tallish woman. After a quick breath, she realized that the woman wasn't smiling at her but she looked angry.

She had been watching her for an hour. Her mark, rather her ward, was probably going to be an issue and she could tell already without having met her. She knew that this was going to be a tough assignment, but she was now realizing why everyone had warned her about Alexandra Cabot.

"How do you make it in WitSec for four years and have to move five times?" she thought to herself.

Watching her now as she stared out the window, Liv finally understood. She was going to be difficult. Anyone who was beautiful and blonde was going to be bane of her existence. Alexandra Cabot was that in spades. Liv shook her head as she walked towards the apartment building. She steeled herself, preparing to do battle with the blonde as soon as she entered apartment.

She decided that she would go in strong and hard. It was the only way that she could keep the upper hand. She read the reports. She studied them for days, trying to get into the head of the illustrious Alexandra Cabot. She was impressed with her reputation, but not her actions. She would have to remain steadfast in her approach to keep Miss Cabot in line and protected. She only hoped that Miss Cabot would agree to do things her way without too much fuss, for both their sakes.

She straightened her shoulders, stretched her neck and began the journey across the parking lot to the apartment. Alexandra was watching her the entire time. Liv imagined that her cobalt blue eyes were laser beams aimed right at her as she scowled back up at her. She was angry with her and just because she was near the window, in the full light of day, where anyone could see her, kill her. She was a sitting duck and she didn't even know it. Liv could see it on her face.

"I'll have to teach her to be a little more self-aware. This is going to be fun. Hampton is going to owe me big time for this assignment. No wonder the marshals didn't want her anymore," Liv stated to herself as she climbed the stairs leading to apartment 3304.

She stopped in front of the door and stared at it. She put her hand in her jeans pocket and felt around for the keys. As she stared at the door, she decided that she would knock. She was going to test Alexandra. She wanted to know exactly what she was up against. It was the best way, she told herself. She knocked on the apartment door and waited.

She was disappointed several minutes later when Alexandra opened the door and was face to face with her. Liv's scowl returned as Alexandra stood there in looking fabulous in faded jeans and a local university sweatshirt. She watched as Alexandra scanned her up and down, slowly, before she said anything to Olivia.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Why did you answer the door?" Liv demanded.

"It is a social norm to answer the door when someone knocks on it," she replied.

"Not for you any more it isn't. Now, get inside. We have some things to discuss Miss Cabot before we move in the next few weeks," Liv stated pushing past her.

Liv turned around, shut the door and bolted it. She ran the security chain and then checked out the peep hole for good measure. When she turned hack around, Alexandra was standing them, hands on her hips, just watching her.

"Look, I don't know who you think you are, but you will not speak to me that way," Miss Cabot told her.

"It doesn't matter who I am, Miss Cabot. What matters right now is that you stay alive. I am here to make sure that happens. I've read your file. You are no longer under the jurisdiction of the FBI and the Marshalls. You are in mine. I don't play by the same rules. Then sooner you realize that, the sooner we will get along," Liv told her.

"You don't work for the Marshalls?"

"No, ma'am, I don't. I am not entirely sure why I was chosen for this assignment, actually your file explained a lot to me, but that isn't the point. The point of the matter is you have to stay alive. I am quite skilled in that area and I plan to deliver you to your court dates. Until then, Alexandra Cabot is dead and doesn't exist. Can you understand that?"

"I am not dumb. Yes, I understand that I will be issued a new name and identity. I just hope that this time it won't be something mundane in Podunk."

"No, it isn't."

"So, what is my cover this time? Hmm, suburbanite? Insurance salesperson?"

"Nothing so illustrious, I'm afraid," Liv told her.

"Then what?"

"It remains to be seen. I haven't been given full disclosure yet. I was asked to report to you and see if I could actually keep you alive. It seems that the Marshalls fear you have a death wish."

"I do not have a death wish."

"Then, can you explain to me why you were standing next to the window in broad daylight where anyone could see you and shoot you?"

"I like too the city. I like looking out windows. It helps me think."

"Well, you are going to have to break that habit, I'm afraid. Windows are off limits. You can't be protected through glass. I'll make sure to add to the provisions of the new safe house we will be going to, wherever it may be."

"You can do that?"

"Right now, as long as I agree to keep you alive, I can do whatever I want. Cost is not a problem with my superiors as long as you are able to testify. Look, I don't know what you got in to and I don't care. You are my newest and last assignment. Once, I deliver you back to the US Courthouse in New York, I finally get to retire."

"You aren't a Marshall. You don't work for the FBI. Who do you work for? And, retire? You can't be older than thirty-five. What are you talking about?" Alex asked her.

"My name is Olivia Benson. I work for the government. Technically, I belong to no one. I am ghost. But, we generally just call my organization the 'Company.' Like I said, this isn't a normal assignment for me. This is a little out of my comfort zone. And, thank you for the compliment. I have been doing my job for quite some time. My age is not relevant at the moment, however."

"So what is?"

"Keeping you alive, Miss Cabot."

"And, then you are going to retire?"

"If they will let me, yes, I plan on retiring. I have seen enough in my years to know that I am done. I have done what they have asked of me and then some. Your case being one of those things, but it isn't part of what I normally do."

"I take it that usually you would be the one tasked with eliminating me," Alex said.

"Usually, that would be correct, Miss Cabot, but I have many skills."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

She looked over at Alex. She knew that this woman would probably get her killed. She figured it was a fitting end to her run. They were giving her this assignment as her "retirement." If she could survive, then she could leave without worrying about them coming after her for more.

She went back downstairs to her unmarked SUV and grabbed her two cases and a soft back pack. She went back upstairs and into the apartment. She placed the cases on the small kitchen table and threw the backpack at the couch. Alex watched her but didn't say anything. She just stood there with her arms crossed across her chest. Liv eyeballed her, but didn't say anything to her as she started going into one her cases. Alex's eyes widened when she saw the broken down rifle spaced out in the case.

"You weren't kidding, earlier, were you?" Alex asked her.

"No, I wasn't."

"You don't get out much, do you?"

"That depends on what you mean," Liv told her.

"You don't deal with people much, do you?"

"Not in the traditional sense, no. Mostly the only way I've dealt with people in the past was in eliminations. This would be a complete change for me."

"So you've never been on a protection detail?" Alex asked her.

"No, ma'am, I have not."

"Well I guess this is going to be really interesting for both of us."

Liv didn't answer her. She pulled out her scope only and grabbed a chair. She sat back a good distance from the windows and began to check for lines of sight. She grabbed a small notepad out her back pocket and began to make some notes on angles. Every now and again she would write down something at length that made Alex curious.

"What was that note, there, about?" Alex asked, breaking her concentration.

"What note?"

"The notes that you are making," Alex replied.

"I am making notes about where you could be shot from. I'll go explore those areas later to make sure that no one has set up a hide yet. Until then, I will mark areas on the floor that will be okay for you to be at. I will move the furniture accordingly."

Alex just stared at her. She couldn't believe that she was being so clinical about the situation. This was her life, didn't she understand that? Couldn't this cold assassin see that?

"You don't understand why this hard for me, do you?" Alex asked.

"It isn't my problem, Alexandra. I am here to keep you alive. I am here to protect you. I don't have to be your friend. I don't have to care about the life that you are leaving. I have to care for your safety and your well-being. I am sorry. I don't do people well."

"I can tell."

Liv ignored Alex as she continued to study everything outside the window. She could feel Alex watching her. It was a little unnerving but she had a job to do and she was going to do it. She had to keep Alex safe. She hoped that Alex wouldn't fight her once she made her a regimen to follow. She read the file on how difficult Alex had been with the other agents and agencies. She would have to lay some ground rules for her to follow.

Liv sat down again across the room on the couch and stared at the apartment's only door. Alex continued to watch her. She didn't move when Liv changed positions. She stood rigid and angry. Liv didn't seem to care. She continued with her assessment of the apartment.

"You'll be found from the couch. It is the safest place for you in the main common areas. If something does go down, it will give you the clearest points to hide or to escape. Do you understand that, Miss Cabot?"

"I do."

"Can I show you what I want you do?"

"No."

"Are you going to let me help you?"

"You are my body guard, right?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what are you?"

"I am here to make sure you stay alive. I am here to protect you. You will do what I tell you to do to accomplish this. You will not be going out in public unless it is necessary and I will tell you when it is okay to go out. I know that you might not like what it going on, but that isn't my problem. I need to coordinate our departure for a safe house outside the City. I want you to stay here and stay low. I have some things to check out. Can you do that for me?" Liv asked her.

"I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?"

"Unless you have a death wish, no, you don't," Liv replied.

Alex walked across the room and sat down on the couch. She got next to Liv to see if she could use her close proximity to make Liv uncomfortable. Liv didn't say anything about how close she was to her. She just pointed at the door.

"That is the only entry and exit besides a window."

"I noticed."

"Then, you need to be constantly aware of how to get to it. The only problem with that is that it is the only entry and exit. That means that they first people in who might try to hurt you know that as well. They are going to try to block it. If they can't block it, they are going to try to flush you out of it. If they flush you out of it, there will be someone or something there to take you or kill you. If they try to flush you out, you need to get to a window and get out. I would suggest that one there with the fire escape," Liv told her, pointing at the window across the room.

"And, if I can't?" Alex stated.

"Then, you fight your way into the bedroom. There is a closet with an attic access. You will climb your way to the roof and hide. I will leave preparations up there for you."

"Preparations?"

"Yes, there will be a dump phone and a pistol. I'll show you how to use it later. There will be preprogrammed numbers in the phone. The first one will be for me. You will call me and I will come faster than you can imagine. The second number will be to the Marshalls. They will send a team as fast as they can, but it won't be fast enough. The third number will be the FBI. Same deal with them. The fourth number will be 9-1-1. That is your last resort. You will call us all in order. You will only tell the 9-1-1 operator what you can and never who you are. Do you understand?" Liv asked her.

"What? Wait? You aren't staying here with me?"

"Oh, I am. But, I have some things to do first. I need to know, that if I am not with you, that you can handle this. If you can't, we leave tonight. No questions asked. My priority is keeping you alive. If you can't handle this, tell me now and I'll have a car downstairs in five."

"I can handle this. How long will we be here? Can you tell me that?" Alex asked her.

"That depends on you and how hot things really are here."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Not more than an hour," Liv stated as she stood up from the couch and went back to her cases.

She replaced her notebook and her scope. She pulled out a small compact five shot pistol. It was a custom .45. She checked it and made sure that it was loaded. She walked back to the couch and handed it to Alex.

"This is for you and only if you have to use it."

"I don't like guns."

"I don't like bullets, but the people out there use them both. This is just for protection and only as a last resort. You are to run first and call me."

"I got that part."

"Good. Now, stay here and don't even think about going out. I'll be back as soon as I can. I have to check in with the local Marshalls that were in charge of you. I will find a place for us to hide where no one would think to find you. Until then, we will stay here," Liv told her.

"Fine."

"Alexandra, I know that this isn't ideal for either of us, but as long as you do as I ask, it will be an easier and quicker relationship until your court date."

Alex didn't respond. She reluctantly took the pistol from Liv and held it. Liv waited until it seemed that Alex was able to handle the weapon effectively. She gave Alex a look and went back to the cases. She locked them up and grabbed them.

"I'll be back soon. Lock the door and bolt the chain. I'll call the phone in my bag over there before I come back. No one has that number. I will call only once. I will let it ring four times and hang up. Let the phone ring. If someone leaves a voice mail, hide. If someone calls and doesn't let it ring four times, hide. Under no circumstances are you to answer that phone."

"Yes, Mistress, I understand," Alex answered her sarcastically.

Liv just rolled her eyes. She knew that Alex was going to test her, but what Alex didn't know was that Liv was about to test her. She wasn't going to speak with the Marshalls or the FBI. She had already had the only briefing that she was going to get. She and Alex were on their own. Alex didn't know that yet, but Liv knew that she would have to make her understand how venerable she really was. Alex was in for a surprise.

She didn't know that Liv was testing her. The next hour would set the tone for their unorthodox relationship. Liv knew that she would have to have Alex back in the City in six months. Alex didn't even know that much. They weren't letting her know when the case was going to trial because they knew that Alex would demand to be there for the whole trial. Liv wasn't going to let her know where they were going until they got there. She figured the less that Alex actually knew the better off she would be. No one would be able to find her, if she didn't know where she was going until she got there.

She waited outside the apartment's door until she heard Alex lock the door behind her. She started to walk away when she finally heard the chain and bolt being slid into place. She smiled as she walked down the corridor. She made sure that she counted each step. She looked at each door until she made it to the elevator.

She pushed the button to go into the parking garage. Once she was in the garage, she made her way to her unmarked SUV and put the cases back in the hatch. She sat in the driver's seat and turned on the radio. She waited a few minutes and tuned in to an AM station. She waited a few minutes and she could hear Alex moving around in her pack.

She smiled. She knew that Alex was a naturally curious person. She knew that Alex wasn't going to sit back and not give her some sort of grief about basically being under house arrest. She was a social person and in the elite circles of New York. This world, this entire operation was a completely foreign idea to her. She couldn't fathom the depths that she was about to fall into and have to learn to survive in because it meant her life.

Liv turned the radio up. She knew that the bug would only give her limited range. She pulled out of the space and started out of the garage. She would go to the building across the street. It had the best vantage point and many places on the roof for an assassin to make a hide. She was going to investigate and use it to scare Alex.

It wasn't meant to hurt her. It was meant for her to realize that Liv was there to protect her and keep her safe. She would have to do something drastic so Alex would learn to trust Liv's instincts and her knowledge.

She read the file four times before she realized why she was chosen. She pulled into a space behind the building in question. She reviewed the file once again. She shook her head and then hid the file again in the secret compartment. She got her scope and a laser pointer and made her way up to the roof. She was amazed at how easy it was for her to gain access. It was just another reason that she would move Alex.

She made her way up to the corner of the building and hunkered down. She waited. She lay there in wait, because she knew that Alex would get curious and go to the window. She was good at waiting. She knew that it wouldn't take her an hour to make the move. She might have already missed in while she was driving, but she doubted it.

As she sat in the corner of the building, with her scope in hand, she began to think about where she would take them. Money wasn't going to be a problem. She'd made sure of that. The Alphabet soup wouldn't be a problem either. She wasn't about to tell anyone where they were going or where they were once they were there. She was a lone agent with a mission. Her own handler wouldn't even know where she was. She was a government ghost. It was her job. She was good at it. She was going to make Alex a ghost, too.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught movement. She'd been surveying the rooflines and looking for other vantage points that she might have missed being in the apartment. She turned at the movement and caught Alex standing in full view of the window. She reached in her pocket and turned on the laser. She shined it right onto Alex's chest. It was only a warning, but it would serve its point.

She watched through the scope as Alex saw the red light. She backed up away from the window and ducked behind the couch. Olivia waited. She ran the laser around the room a few times just to be sure that it wasn't a fluke and Alex had really seen it. Then, her cell rang. She smiled. She turned off her laser pointer and started her way back to the SUV.

"I'm on my way," she said into the phone.

She didn't need to look at the caller ID. Only one person had that number, and it was Alex. She smiled as she made her way to the apartment. Alex could learn quickly. She actually listened to what Liv had told her. Liv thought that maybe she could get through to her now and Alex would actually do as she asked without question or reservation.

She decided that they would leave that night. She would use the dark as cover. She would slowly pack the SUV so if any of the Alphabets were watching, they would think that she was unloading and moving in. Getting Alex out tonight would test not only her abilities, but also the Alphabets determination on watching Alex. Tonight, they would learn that Liv never took a job she couldn't complete and she always did it her way. Tonight, they would become ghosts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Liv didn't wait. She came used her key, but forget that she had Alex bolt the door with the chain locks too. She busted through the door and was inside the apartment before Alex could register what was going on. She crossed the room and found Alex still hiding behind the couch, pistol in hand, but trained on nothing. The fear in her eyes was apparent. Liv squatted down beside her.

"What happened?" she asked, already knowing the answer, but not betraying her self to Alex.

"There was a laser sight. I didn't know what to do. I did what you told me."

"Did you cull any of the other numbers?"

"No, just you. You answered and told me that you would be right here. I was just so scared I didn't know what to do. You said that you were coming. That was all I needed to hear," Alex told her.

"So, now, you will listen to me, because you know that I can keep you alive. That is amusing to me, Miss Cabot. You had to be threatened, again, to take this seriously. That actually disturbs me and makes me wonder about my own safety when it comes to you."

"I am sorry," Alex replied.

"For what?"

"Not listening," she told her.

"What did you do?"

"I was looking out the window."

"There is no harm in that," Liv told her, already knowing how close she was to the glass.

"I wasn't behind the line you told me to use," Alex admitted.

"Ah, so you were at the window?" Liv asked.

"Yes."

It was a simple answer, but it spoke volumes about how Alex felt now. Liv could tell that she was scared. Maybe the trick was mean, but it made Alex realize that Liv only had her safety in mind. She knew that she would fess up about it later...much later, when they weren't in the City. It gave her the resolution she was looking tor and now she would be able to get Alex to listen and follow her directions. She could only hope that her obedience would last long enough to get her to the court house.

"We need to move."

"Where?"

"I don't know. I wasn't planning on leaving the City this fast," Liv lied, but then continued with the truth. "I haven't checked in with the Alphabets and I don't have a safe house ready. If we go, we go blind and to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"We would go blind?" Alex asked.

"Yep."

"What does that entail?"

"It would mean that the Alphabets wouldn't even know where you were. I would be the only point of contact for you and they only have one number for me. They will try to track me, but they'll fail. I was given a mission und I have a tendency not to resurface until I'm ready. They know that. They also know that I don't plan on failing. So, they'll let me do things my way until you don't show up for court. Then, they'll come after my ass. Which is why you'll make the court date, once I find out when it is."

"You don't know, yet?" Alex questioned, worried about her supposed lack of information.

"I wasn't given a formal briefing, Miss Cabot. I was given a file, a name and a location. That is it."

"So, we really doing this blind, then," Alex replied.

"Yes, we are," Liv responded, happy that Alex was on board.

"What do we need to do?"

"Pack up some clothes and toiletries, take nothing that has your name on it. Alexandra Cabot no longer exists. We'll figure out a new name later. Now, we need to go."

"What about you? What should I call you? Are you going to change your name?"

"No, because according to the government, I don't exist. So, you can call me Liv or Olivia, whichever your prefer. I answer to both. If you have a name in mind, I'll make some calls and get your identity in the works. I have a few select individuals that I can trust long enough to make a new you. Are you opposed lo dying your hair?" Liv asked as she began to search through the cabinets.

"Dye my hair?"

"Yeah, ever thought about being a brunette or a red head?" Liv asked her seriously.

"No, I haven't."

"Well do, the less you look like you the better."

Alex didn't know how to reply to her comment. She stared at Liv as she continued to go through the kitchen. She hadn't notice when Liv grabbed her back pack, but she noticed that she was grabbing some of the food. Then it hit Alex like a ton of bricks. They were leaving and they were running. The gravity of the situation hit her hard. She didn't like to run. She wanted to confront the drug dealers and now her life was in danger. She had placed others in danger all because she wanted to win the case.

She shook her head, got up from the couch where she'd been placed by Liv and made her way into the back bedroom. She looked around the room for minute. Everything was falling apart around her. She wasn't prepared for this to happen. She was supposed to be the "Ice Queen DA," where had she gone so wrong with the case.

She sat down on the bed and looked at the clothes she had been given. None of them were something that she would actually wear. Half of the items she hadn't owned anything like them since she was kid. She hadn't seen a pair of jeans since college. She missed the comfort and grabbed them to take. She grabbed the tanks, camies and a few sweat shirts. She decided that comfort would override the desire to look good. She was on the run after all, practicality was more important.

She came back into the living room to find Liv waiting on her. She had a small suit case waiting on the table for her. Alex didn`t know where she procured it from and she didn't care. She put the clothes inside it and then went back for some shoes, socks and underwear. Once she was completely packed, she closed the suitcase and looked over at Liv. Liv took the suit case from her and started towards the door, expecting Alex to follow her.

"I'm ready. Let's go," Alex told her. "Oh, and by the way. You can call me Emily Paxton."

"Emily Paxton, huh? Where did that come from? Don't tell me that you have any relation to the name or anyone with those names, though," Liv told her.

"Well, I have a DA friend that has the last name Paxton," Alex replied, following Liv out of the apartment and into the hallway.

Liv turned, locked the doors, and started down the corridor to the elevators, shaking her head. She sighed. She didn't spare a glance at Alex as they entered the elevator and prepared to go to the parking garage. She knew that Alex was on autopilot now and was just blindly following her, but there was something about it that bothered her.

"You can't use Paxton, then," Liv told once they were on the elevator.

"Why not?"

"You have a personal connection. You can't use anything that has a personal connection. When someone wants you dead, they'll use everything and anything they can that is personal to get to you. I am sorry. You'll have to pick something else for a last name. Does Emily mean anything to you?"

"No, it doesn't."

`You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay, Emily," Liv replied.

Alex looked at her for a second before she realized what Liv was doing. She was trying to help her learn her new name. The more Liv called her Emily. The more likely she would actually use it.

"I never thanked you."

"You don't have to, Emily," Liv told her.

"I still feel like l should. I mean, you are putting your life on the line for mine. I should be able to thank you for that. I know that this is your job, but l think that I am getting a more personal touch than others would. You've even admitted that to me," Alex replied.

"I did, but that is because I have never done a protection detail. I don't exactly work well with others. You'll find that out as time goes by. I was selected because of my skill set. I was picked because you have single handedly bested the best of all the Alphabets."

"Who are the Alphabets?" Alex asked.

"The FBI, the CIA, NSA, et cetera, et cetera...I call them the Alphabets. I don't work for them. I refuse to do so. Too many politics for my taste. I like simple, cut and dry missions. I don't like to think about what I am doing. I want to get in, eliminate whoever quickly and get out. I'll admit that I was good at it. I was one of the best, but I was getting tired of it. Politics inevitably come into play with eliminations, too. I realized this the hard way and I wanted out."

"Killed someone that didn`t deserve it?"

"Oh, no, they deserved it. I just didn't like the pretext in which I was sent to do it. The person that put out the contract trumped up some charges, which in the end turned out to be true," Liv explained.

"Did it bother you?"

"At the time, yeah, after I found out it that the trumped charges were true, not so much. It was just the principle of the matter, then. I don't like being lied to about who I am supposed to kill. If they deserve it, it's one thing. I refuse to let an innocent die, if I can help it." Liv stated.

"I guess that is how you ended up with me, then," Alex said.

"It is one reason I agreed to take the mission, yes."

"And, the rest?" Alex asked.

"I'll let you know, later. Over there is my SUV. We'll take it out of the City. I am sure that they are going to try and track it. I already called for another vehicle. We'll move into it soon. Go ahead and get in. I'll just finish packing the hatch," Liv told her as she popped the hatch and the locks.

Liv knew how dangerous this mission could be for the both of them. Their lives were at stake, but she was used that being a problem. There were plenty of missions that she shouldn't have come home from, but she did. She learned not to question it, because she didn't believe in a higher power. If she did, she would question her entire life and that would be more dangerous than the position she found herself in with Alexandra Cabot.

She closed the hutch and got in the driver's seat. She started the SUV and backed out of the space. She headed for the Jersey border with no specific destination in mind. She had to get Alex out of her comfort zone and out of the City. It had been too long since Liv was Stateside and she didn't know where to go. She didn't want a major city because it would be too easy to trace. She needed somewhere backwoods and mural. It needed to be somewhere that people wouldn't question Liv when she gave them their story, once she thought one up. She decided to just drive and decide on the way.

She reasoned that she thought better on the fly anyway.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know, yet."

"Do you have an idea?"

"I have some thoughts, but I need to get an atlas."

"What about Canada?"

"I don't have jurisdiction there. If we did jump borders, then things would get really dicey. I am not taking you out of the country. I mean we could go to Alaska or Hawaii, but even that is stretching things. I don't want to give any of the Alphabets a reason to think that I've kidnapped you. I need them to believe that you went under like you were supposed to and that I have your protected," Liv stated.

"I understand."

"Listen, Alex, I know that this is going to be difficult for you. You cannot have contact with anyone back in New York. As far as they are concerned, you will die tonight. Once you are dead. The Alphabets will do what they can to protect your assets and things. After tonight, Alexandra Cabot will be dead. I am sorry. You can't even tell your mother," Liv told her.

"This will destroy her, you know," Alex said wistfully.

"Unfortunately, it can't be helped. I am sorry for that, but we can't tell her. I know that it will be hard. But, your health and welfare are more important than your mother knowing that you are actually alive. I am sorry that sounds crass, but it is the truth."

"Your mother doesn't know that you are still alive does she?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if she is still alive. It is better for me that way."

"That is a cold way to view things," Alex told her.

"It has kept me alive."

"True, but I'm sure that it is lonely."

"I've learned to deal with it."

"But, you do have friends, right?" Alex asked, noticing that they were leaving the City.

"I have people that I care for and that help me, yes. Are we friends? I cannot answer that. I have learned not to get close to people. I don't stay in one place for very long."

"But, what about me? How will you be able to deal with me? Who are the people you go to when you need something? Do they help you when you call?" Alex asked.

"Yes, they do. As for you, each day will prove to be an adventure for me. There is someone that I will take us to see first. Hopefully he will have another vehicle waiting for us. He'll take care of this one and get it back to me when we finally get somewhere more permanent."

"What is his name?"

"His name is Cole Jackson."

"Where are we meeting him?"

"Somewhere outside of Amish Country in Pennsylvania."

"Pennsylvania?"

"Yeah, he likes to stay hidden. It is better for us in our line of work. We know who we can trust and where we go when we need to hide. We have a network that even the Alphabets don't even know about. We have to find our way on our own. We have a way of dealing with each other that keeps us all alive and hidden at the same time," Liv told her.

"So, Pennsylvania, then. How long are we going to be there? Are we going to stay there?"

"We'll probably be there for a few days. It will be just long enough for me to get your new identity worked out. Have you thought about a name, yet, Emily?" Liv asked her.

"What about Emily Sullivan?"

"Sounds good. When we stop for some gas, I'll call Jackson and let him know. You will be officially Emily Sullivan as soon as we get to Jackson's farm. Get comfortable and take a nap. I'll wake you when we stop," Liv told her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The drive was uneventful just as Liv had hoped. She was amazed at how quickly they had made time to Pennsylvania. It would only be an hour or so before they found themselves at Jackson's farm. Liv sat back and looked at the sky. She was still debating if she should wake Alex, but decided to wait. She looked peaceful considering the situation and Liv knew that the next few months were going to be anything but peaceful for them.

The trip down I-80 thru the main part of the state of Pennsylvania was nice. It reminded Liv of some of her more delightful missions in Europe. She shook her head and looked around. She was making sure that no one was following them. She doubted that the Alphabets even knew that they were gone, yet. She knew that she would have call in once they got to Jackson's but right now, she was just worried about getting there. She glanced at GPS and realized that they needed to take highway 310 soon to get to Jackson's farm.

It only took about thirty minutes once she got out of the town of Anita to make it to Jackson's farm. Liv still didn't know why the old man had picked Pennsylvania, but he was far enough out of civilization that no one would bother him. She wondered what Alex would think of him. He wondered what he would think of Alex and this mission.

She pulled into the drive and woke up Alex. She looked at the small two story, white clap board farm house and turned to Liv to make sure they were at the right place. Liv just smiled and got out of the SUV. She didn't wait for Alex to follow her. She knew that were safe here.

"Olivia Benson, I do declare," he said meeting them both on the porch.

"Hello, Cole," Liv replied.

"And, who do we have here?" he asked turning his attention to Alex.

She regarded the older grizzled man for a moment, before she extended her hand to him. He looked at Liv and then at Alex, before he stuck his hand out to her. She shook his hand before she said anything to him.

"Hello, Mister Jackson, I am Emily," she replied.

He laughed, a deep and good natured laugh. He held his belly while he did it. He turned back to Liv and smiled. He motioned for them to follow him inside the house. He laughed the entire way to the kitchen, where he bid them to sit down at the table, as he poured them some tea.

"Where in God's name did you find her, Liv?"

"New York," Liv replied.

He turned and stared at the blonde a little harder. There was something off about the way she was dressed. Her manners were too good to be with the likes of Benson. Something was definitely wrong with the situation in his mind, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

"You didn't tell me you were bringing friends," he stated.

"Sorry, it was a spur of the moment thing."

"Spur of the moment, huh? Guess she was the spur? What's going on here, Lieutenant?"

"Well, Sarge, she is in trouble and I've been tasked to make sure she stays safe."

"What?" he asked flatly.

"That is about what I said when I got the mission," she told him.

"Someone after her?"

"You could say that," Liv replied.

"Emily ain't her real name," he stated.

Alex looked at them. She couldn't believe that they were talking about her like she wasn't there. She couldn't believe that they were discussing her like she was some kind of black op.

"I'm right here," she piped up.

"No, you ain't. Get yourself upstairs. Take the bedroom to the left of the stairs," he instructed.

Alex looked over at Liv. She just nodded for Alex to comply. Alex opened her more to protest, but shut it just as quickly. She had agreed to listen to Liv. She made a face at her, but she left the kitchen and went upstairs.

"I cannot believe you brought her here," he told Liv once she was gone.

"I need papers."

"For who?"

"Her," Liv replied.

"You want me to get her papers?"

"Yes, Jackson, I do. I know you already got me a car in the back barn. I'm leaving the SUV here. I'll call you when I get somewhere safe. I'll expect it back and better than I left it."

"You want the usual? New paint and VIN? Anything else?"

"She's already loaded from the last mission in Kosovo. She's got plating because they thought I was going to sneak in from the north into Afghanistan. SEALs got that mission instead."

"I'll take care of her."

"I know you will, Sarge. I am counting on it. I'm going to leave my M82 here with you as well. I don't think that I am going to need it."

"You still got the Forty?"

"Yes."

"And, the rest?"

"All still your designs, all still working, and all still going with me," she told him.

"Good girl, you had me worried there for a minute. So, how in the Hell did Alphabet Soup manage to saddle you with…with…with her? What the Hell did you do, Lieutenant?"

"I asked to retire."

"She is your retirement package?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Well, damn, I guess there could be worse things. At least she is something to look at. Do me a favor with her, though?"

"Yeah and what is that?"

"Don't fall for her. That girl has got ice on her heart and she'll just break yours, Liv. She ain't made for love. She's made to make a name for herself. That's likely what got her into this mess to begin with, ain't it?"

"It is."

"Well, shit, Lewy, where ya going go?"

"I need a map."

"You ain't decided yet."

"Like I said on the phone, I need papers and a few days to get my head together."

"You left the City without a plan?"

"It wasn't my finest hour, no. She is in danger and the Alphabets gave her to me. She is handful. She doesn't listen for her own good."

"You scared her, didn't you? You pulled Cologne on her, didn't you? That is why you were in such a hurry, isn't it?"

"I cannot say if…"

"How long did it take for her to piss you off?"

"I hadn't even met her yet."

"You set ground rules for her."

"Some."

"Do you think that she'll follow them?"

"I hope that she will. I think that she actually understand now that it isn't just her name, but her life that is on the line. She finally understands that all the Alphabets were trying to do was keep her alive. It seems like three agents lost their lives in the line of duty for her. I think she just figured that she would get a protective detail. I don't think she understood the importance of a clean break for protection. Today, she did."

"You sly dog, you did pull Cologne on her," he stated.

"I did what had to be done."

"I'll get the ol' computer fired up. I am sure that I can have your Emily up and functional by tomorrow. Do I need to make you a new identity, too?"

"Not yet. Just get me a backup, just in case we have to leave the country. I'm going to try to convince her to dye her hair again. Then, I'll sit down with one of our maps and pick a ,question us just showing up."

"I'll call Sanchez. I think that he has a place that will work for you in Illinois. You could stay there for a while. I am sure that he wouldn't mind letting you lone the place. It would be a small town outside of Chicago, but it would give you enough small town charm that you could hide her without too much question," he explained.

"That sounds ideal, plus Chicago would be right there. I could let her out once and again once she understand what to do if she feels threatened again. We would be near enough to an FBI site if I needed them," she told them.

"True. Liv, are you sure that you can handle this one? She ain't exactly the norm for you."

"Meaning that she is still breathing? I know that, Sarge. We've already discussed that is why I was chosen for this assignment. I only have to deal with her for six months. As long as I get her back to New York for her court date to testify, everything else will be okay. I can handle her for a few months. There is nothing to worry about," Liv told him.

"If you say so, Liv. But, I'm telling you that one is going to be trouble for you. And, not the kind of trouble that you know how to deal with. She might break you."

"I doubt that she'll break me."

"Ten says she will."

"Double it and you're on," Liv stated.

They slapped the table in agreement. Liv stood to go upstairs to see about Alex, but shook Cole's hand before she went upstairs. She swore that she could hear the old man chuckle as she left. She shook her head. He knew that Liv would always put the mission first, especially after the fiasco in Kiev. He knew that Liv had a penchant for blondes, but her heart had been harden to almost stone because of Kiev.

He went into his office to begin to create Emily's identity. He wished that Liv would actually tell him what happened in Kiev. He'd read the records, what parts he could get his hands on, and some of the parts he couldn't. So much of the mission had been redacted from the official record that he wasn't even sure that Liv knew the whole story and she was the one who lived it.

He sighed and turned back to the computer. The wars had changed her. The wars had changed them all. She had grown colder and more distant after that mission. He'd tried to ask her what happened, but she gave him the "company" lies. He had worried about the darkness that surrounded her, but the CO gave her another mission two weeks later. She'd been cleared for duty, but anyone in the unit could have told you that she faked her psyche screening. They all had. They knew how. It was part of their training. Liv had excelled at faking out everyone.

He wondered if she had succeeded in lying to herself. Maybe she came to believe the story that had been told to her about the mission. Maybe she really couldn't believe what had happened had actually happened. She had been really beaten up and the bombs hadn't helped her. He knew that rattled brain didn't remember things clearly from his own time in Beirut. He hoped that once Liv was free that she would find something or someone that would make her happy again. He would help her as much as he could, but she would have to help herself, too.

He would hide her if need be. She'd saved him in Iraq. Found him after the barrage in Kosovo when no one else would look for him. He owed her and he never forgot that. He got to come home and have a life, kids and the rest. He couldn't help that the PTSD drove them all away. She was the one that came when Jessa called her asking for help. She was the one who got him out of the bottle and out of D.C. She was the one who helped him move on and fight the demons that his memories conjured up. He knew all too well what their line of work did to the brain.

"Find something soon, Liv, but the Devil eats your brain, too," he said to no one as he began the faked identity of Emily. He created a Texas driver's license and birth certificate. Next, he doctored school records and even produced a University of Mississippi diploma in Liberal Arts. He decided that he would let Emily pick a field later. He would manufacture a work experience and a resume' for her. She would be a built woman.

Liv would need some things, too. But, first they would have to come up with a cover story. Developing a new background was easy, it was going to be remembering it and making a new life that was going to be the problem. That was going to be their challenge together, now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

She made her way upstairs. She was only slightly starting to feel guilty for what she did in New York, but she knew that Alex wouldn't cooperate if they stayed there any longer. She would apologize for her actions later. Right now, they needed to get on the same page.

Liv made her way upstairs and into the bedroom next to Alex's. She was tired, but she knew that she needed to talk to her. She dropped her bag on the bed. She pulled a small side arm out and put it in her pants at her back. It was habit and she knew it. She couldn't go anywhere without a weapon on her, even in a safe house. She dropped her leather jacket on the bed. She raked her hands through her hair and caught her reflection in the mirror over the bureau across the room.

"Stop worrying about it, Liv," she told herself. "It will all work out. Just keep her safe and retire."

She made her way down the small hallway to the room that Alex was staying in. She knocked on the door and waited. She was going to give her some privacy and some semblance of normal, well as much as she could considering their situation.

"What do you want?" Alex asked her, still drying her hair with a towel.

"I thought that we should talk."

"About what? I figured that you and the good 'Sarge' were doing a good enough job without me. Is there really something that I can help you with? I am tired and need to figure out who I am." Alex said.

"I'm sorry," Liv stated before she could stop herself.

"For what?"

"I know that this is hard for you. I know that you had to leave everything, again. I understand that you will be going somewhere you don't know, with no real friends, and no real hope of ever seeing home and knowing that you can go back to it again. I have an idea what that is like, but you have only had to start over once. It is hard becoming someone new, sometimes someone you would never be, but it is a survival skill that you are going to have to learn. You're a lawyer. You know how to lie or bend the truth enough to make people believe what you need them to believe. This is just going to be a very large and gross exercise of that ability," Liv told her.

"Way to make me feel better." Alex replied.

"I am not here to make you feel good. I am here to keep you alive. I'm just trying to make your transition to Emily Sullivan as easy as possible."

"I know that."

"Then could we cut down a little on this hostility?"

"I am not promising anything."

"We need to figure out who Emily is for you. We need to talk about that so I can let Cole know. Starting the identity on paperwork is easier than actually living it. You are going to have to do the latter, so we need to figure out who Emily Sullivan really is. Do you have any ideas?"

"I guess being a lawyer is out."

"You know that. You can't really do anything that has to do with law or courts. So what will it be? Anything else you ever wanted to be?"

"I don't know. Whatever you think is best, I guess. All I know is law," Alex told her.

"I'll talk with Cole about it later. He is better at figuring these things out. I am sure that it will end up being something purely mundane, though. Do you think that you can handle a desk job?"

"I am not really going to have any choice in the matter and you know that. I will do whatever I have to do. I am not stupid. I know that this is for my own safety. I will accept whatever job you stick me with even if I hate it," Alex answered.

"I am sorry about that. If I can come up with some sort of situation where you don't have to seem normal, I will. I don't understand normal. I've never been normal. I can only imagine what this is doing to you and for that I am sorry."

"Where are we going next?"

"I have another friend in Illinois. We will probably go there. We might turn into nomads. Would that be so bad for you? Would you be able to handle a life on the road?" Liv asked her.

"It isn't if I can handle it that should be the question. The question should be: will you be able to handle me if we are on the road together? I take it that you have never really had a partner for long in time. Are you going to be able to handle that?"

"I will be able to deal with it."

"Then I don't think that we should have too much of problem. Get some rest. I know that I keep telling you that, but eventually your mind is going to catch up with your body and when that happens, you will crash hard. I think that we are going to slay here for about u week. So, you'll have time to deal on your own. I'm going to check on getting dinner started. Get some rest. I'll come get you for dinner. Oh, and Alex," Liv told her.

"It's Emily."

"What?"

"My name is Emily, remember?" Alex asked her.

"So, it is," Liv answered, "You can go anywhere on the grounds. Take your phone, though. The farm is bigger than you think. Also, how do you feel about learning to protect yourself?"

"Meaning?"

"We'll discuss it later. I can teach you some moves. You could learn to shoot as well."

"I don`t like guns, but if you think that it is for the best."

"It isn't that I think it is for the best. You need to be able to handle yourself if we get in a situation. It is my job to make sure that doesn't happen, but I need to know that you will be able to deal with it should something arise and it is needed. I am going to protect you, Alex. I swore to that and l will do it. You might think that my methods and my rules are archaic and demeaning, but they are there to help you."

"I know that. I know that you are going to protect me. You've already proven that in bringing me here. You have done everything that you have told me that you are going to do. I believe you when you tell me that you are going to protect mc and have my well-being as your main mission. I also understand that you are to deliver me to the courthouse on time, with or without any minor scrapes or bruises."

Alex saw something in Liv's eyes, but she wasn't sure what it was. She decided not to question it, yet. There was a haunted-ness that surrounded them both and Alex wasn't in the mood to deal with it. She knew that Liv had a complicated life, how could she not with her line of work. Alex dealt with enough shit being a lawyer to know that "normal" didn't exist. All they could do was strive for it. Now, she had no "normal" to base anything on. She knew that Liv was trying to appease her and help her deal with the situation, but she doubted that even Liv knew how painful this was for her.

"Is there anything that you need?"

"To go home?"

"Is there anything that I can actually do to help you?" Liv rephrased.

"I think that you are actually doing it."

"I am not trying to be harsh with you. I hope that you know that. I am not sure that I will be overtly friendly with you, either. I not really in habit, as you know of working with someone else. I will try not to be overly demanding and rigid in my commands, but I ask that you will try to not fight me as much as possible," Liv stated.

"I understand. I will do my best, but you have to understand that I am a lawyer. Fighting back with words comes naturally for me and it will be a hard habit to break. I will do my best, though."

"That is all I can ask of you."

Liv didn`t wait for a response. She left the room. She felt like she had to get out of there.

As she made her way back downstairs and to Cole's office, she felt herself changing. She didn't know what it was about Alex, but there was something that made her want to protect her. It wasn't a feeling that Liv was happy about. She didn't want to feel responsible for anyone, but now she was. She wasn't sure how well she would survive this mission. She would find a way like she had with all the other missions that she had completed over the years. She was adaptable. It was part of the reason she was chosen and she knew it.

Her entire life had been about adaptability. The Army had trained her to adapt and overcome any obstacle that may arise in her way. She was taught not to retreat, but to fall back and find a way around if she couldn't punch right through. She feared her emotions. She knew that Cole had found her after the incident in Kiev and now she was wondering if he was right. Would Alex become her next Kiev?

She shook the thoughts from her mind. She couldn't be worrying about that. She had to make plans. She needed to call Sanchez to make sure that she could use his hideaway. They would have to find some sort of permanent arrangement. She didn't really think that being nomads would work for Alex. She knew that it was a short term fix to their situation, but they would have to find a long term place, something that would keep them both grounded in their new "normal."

She made her way into Cole's office. He was still hard at work deleting any information that pertained to Alex since they left New York. She knew that he would create a new life similar to Alex's but instead it would be Emily Sullivan's. They both knew it was because it would be easier for Alex to remember. Alex didn't have their training and the more complicated and complex the new background the harder it was going to be for her to remember. Liv hoped that it would be something that Alex could deal with, but then again, it didn't matter. Alex no longer existed. The woman upstairs was now Emily Sullivan. She didn't really have a choice in that matter. The only thing that Liv could hope for her was that the Alphabets would take care of her things.

She wondered what the cover story would be for her disappearance. She wondered how Alex will have "died" She of all people thanks to the Alphabets knew what it was like to come home after being "dead" Sometimes people were angry. Others just didn't care. They were happy that you were actually still alive. They were the ones who sought you out to bring you back into your "normal" Liv could only hope that the people that Alex had in New York could be that way for her.

"Almost done?"

"With destroying her, yes."

"What did you decide that Emily would do?" Liv asked him.

"Well, we both know that she can't work in law. That doesn't leave me with a lot of prospects for a woman of her caliber. Did you bother lo research that blue blood upstairs? Or, did you do like normal scan the folder, see the mission, and take it?"

"The latter."

"Lieutenant, you should know better than that."

"I should, but she is my retirement package. After this one, I'm done. I plan on sitting back and relaxing somewhere, not a care in the world, and not worrying about if I am going to make it out alive. She is my way out. It was all I needed to know," Liv explained.

"She is rich beyond belief, but decided to be a DA. That doesn't strike you as odd? What is it with her? There is something that you aren't telling me, isn't there?" he questioned.

"No, there isn't, really. She is just headstrong. She kept ducking her other handlers. They figured that I could scare some sense into her and she would be better off with me. The rest of the handlers had been men," Liv explained.

"Did they tell you why?"

"No."

"You didn't ask them about this at all, did you?"

"Nope," Liv said, plopping down in a chair beside him.

"Olivia, you can't keep going head first into things."

"I'm fine, Cole. She's safer with me than any of the Alphabets anyway. You can't out run a professional liar, runner, and assassin. I think that she knows this. She wasn't very happy that I showed up at the safe house apartment with my rifles and started to scope things out. I've treated her like any other mission. The only difference this time is that instead of trying to find a place to hide and acquire my target for the kill, I'm trying to make sure that no one else can do that with her. I know that I am qualified to do this. So are you, but you are already retired."

"And, I am not a lesbian guarding a lesbian blue blood lawyer from New York City."

"What are you talking about?" Liv demanded.

"What are you talking about?"

"You really didn't do any research, did you?"

"I already told you: no."

"She is one of the most eligible bachelorettes in New York City. You are going to have to hide her somewhere without a huge rich population that has been there for years. You are going to have to take her somewhere without a huge history. I don't think that you will be able to stay in Illinois that long before someone figures out whom she is." Cole told her.

"I know that. I was thinking out West somewhere. Maybe somewhere south of Tucson. I doubt that anyone would be looking for her there."

"That may be true, but stay out of the big cities. They are more likely to be crawling with someone who might be looking for her. You know how the cartels work. They have spies everywhere, looking for the next big score or the target that got away."

"I know. I look care of a lot of their 'look outs.' I know what to look for while I'm protecting her."

"Just remember to keep it professional."

"That won't be a problem for me, Sarge. I have no need for a love life. It just complicates things. I will have enough trouble dealing with just her and keeping her in line," Liv told him.

"I am sure that you will. That one looks to be a firecracker, LT. You sure you don't want me to make you some papers. I know you got money stashed from here to Switzerland and back, but don't you want something a little more local?"

"No, it is a way for them to track us. I am going to keep her off the grid as much as possible. And, that means me, too. I have to stay off the grid, too. If they figure out that I am her protection, they'll just start tracking me when they can't find her trail. For now, both of us will have to be ghosts."

"I can arrange that for you."

"I know. You are the best. That is why I came to you," Liv told him.

"You still cooking me dinner for this?"

"Yeah, Sarge, I am. Now, let me go sec what you don't have to work with. Hopefully, I can scrounge up something without having to go to the barn to kill it," she joked with him.

"I am sure that wouldn`t be a problem for someone of your training," he poked back.

She laughed as she left his office. He was right. They had both been trained on how to 'field strip' an animal in the wild to survive. It was a necessity. She knew that the long days in the field, hiding and waiting for the perfect shot were behind them, but they both knew that some habits die hard.

She made her way into his kitchen. He was well stocked, like she knew he would be. She didn't know what he wanted, but right now, she wanted a good steak and baked potato. She pulled some rib-eyes out and made a marinade. She looked out the kitchen screen door and saw his converted barrel grill. Tonight they would dine like ranchers of old and tomorrow, Emily and Liv would have to figure out their story. Tomorrow would be the beginning of her new life, a life she would have to get comfortable with.

She wondered as she prepared the marinade if she should warn Alex that she might have to return to being Emily once the trial was over. She shook her head. Alex had to know. She had to know that even if they convicted the heads of the cartels that she would still be in danger. She always would. She had a permanent target on her back. It wasn't like Liv didn't, too.

She looked out the kitchen sink window as she washed the potatoes. She watched Cole's horses as they galloped and frolicked in the pasture. She wished that she could find the peace and quiet like he did. She had done too much, seen too much, to just settle down and retire. She wanted out, but she had no idea where she was going to go. She was wanted in fifteen countries and if Interpol ever caught wind of who she really was, she would be tried and the government would disavow her to save face. She knew this. She understood it. She would be a sacrifice of one to save many. It was a common practice and common knowledge among the Alphabets.

She would become a star on the wall, a name in u book, and that was it. There would be no funeral. There would be no memorial. There would be no search and rescue mission. She would find her own way out and home or she would die. She knew that was her fate. She knew it and she accepted it.

Her mind wandered back to Alex. She hadn't asked for this. She didn't understand the complications of what her actions would do for her life. She had no idea the pain and suffering those that she knew would go through while they tried to find her. If the Alphabets did their normal fare, Alex Cabot would cease to exist. It would be up to them to establish a new identity, a new life, and a new back story. Liv decided then, that Alex wouldn't be left alone. She didn't trust the Alphabets.

She finished her prep work for the potatoes and the steaks. She washed her hands and headed back to Cole's office. He was still staring at the screen making fake diplomas and such.

"Hey, you get your grill going and I'll be back down in a few."

"Going to take a shower?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Steak and potatoes, huh?"

"Yup, that okay?" she asked.

"Sounds perfect. Go wash the memories away, LT. I'll be done with most of this by then."

"Thanks. Sarge."

"Don`t thank me yet. You'll have to help me with the Coupe if you want something to drive. Tomorrow, I'll doctor the DMV records for it. One thing at a time, but in a few days, neither of you will be you anymore, that much I promise."

She shook her head at him. He was good. He was very good. Hell, the Alphabets still didn't know where he was or who he was now. The only ones that did were people who needed to know. Liv was glad that she was still part of that company with him. He had helped her cover her ass more times than she wanted to admit. And, here he was about to do it again and also for Alex.

She ran upstairs to the bathroom. She got in the shower. She let the water carry her memories away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was late. She knew that they would start working on the vehicle in the morning. Liv wasn't surprised that Cole wanted to go to bed after dinner. She was a little surprised that Alex went to bed so soon after dinner. She figured that they could stay up and talk. When she didn't stay up with Liv, she decided that she would walk the grounds. It would allow her to clear her head and make sure that there wasn't anything that would hurt them. It was habit. She was scouting. She didn't care that she knew that Cole would have booby-traps and other devices planted around his farm to make sure that he was safe.

She grabbed her sidearm. She checked it and put it in her waistband at her back. She grabbed a few extra fully loaded clips and put them in her pockets. She put a boot knife in her boot. She didn't figure that she would need them, but she wasn't going to leave the house unprotected.

She made her way to the barn. She saw the car in question and knew that it wouldn't take them long to get it running to her specifications. She saw some other vehicles that it looked like Cole was working on. She shook her head, remembering all the times that his tinkering had saved their lives. They might not have been "approved military upgrades" but the powers that be didn't care when they came back and the mission was accomplished.

She closed up the barn and headed out into the pasture. She liked nights like this, when it was quiet and comfortable, when she didn't have a target she was seeking, when she could try to find peace in her fucked up existence. She sighed and looked around at the grass and then the few horses that she could make out in the darkness. Cole was right to settle down here. It was nice.

Liv thought about all the times that they had been in some Hell hole, knee deep in God knows what and waiting for the order to fire. It was an easy job for those who could stomach it. Those were the pie missions. The ones that sucked were the ones that they had to find the target, play along with the locals and pretend to be friendly, and then one night once the order was given end the target without a second thought. Those were the sticky ones. Sometimes you got a little too close, but then you had to do it. You had to get in close to gain their trust. She could remember too many times how it felt to bury her knife into the heart of someone and watch their lives slip away with only one word spoken in various languages over the years: "Why?"

It was a question that she couldn't really answer herself. She didn't know why she was good at it. She didn't want to exam her upbringing to decide if that is what led her to becoming an assassin for the government. She didn't want to think about the fact that she could compartmentalize the mission from her emotions and take the shot. It was a special person that could do that. Many couldn't, but she could. And, she could do it without remorse. Her mission personae and her "real-world" personae never met. They were two identities from their births. The assassin didn't cross over into Liv's daily life, much, but the parts that did would have been the same for any other combat veteran or police officer.

She always looked for a way out. She kept her back to the wall and her face to a door. She was constantly checking the room and making sure that she had an escape. If there were others with her, she made sure to keep them safe or had a plan to get them out first. She only went to certain places, places that she had already checked out. It was a constant vigil but she knew it kept her alive. She didn't want to leave anything to chance…chance meant death.

But, now, with Alex, her daily life and her assassin life were merging in a way she couldn't stop. She wasn't after a target. She was protecting one. Her motives were changing faster than she could stop them. She wasn't trying to become more civilized, Alex was making her in a way that she couldn't name, a way that she didn't know. Yes, Alex was her retirement package, her way out of the life and into a nice lounge chair on the beach in the middle of nowhere, but she wasn't a target. Liv was used to search and destroy, not search and protect, and her brain was rebelling.

She leaned against the rail and smelled the night air. It was crisp and soft. She could smell the faint hint of hay drifting on the slight breeze. It was peaceful. It was still. It was quiet. She didn't like it. She scanned the horizon and came up with nothing. She had an eerie feeling creeping over her. Could Alex really be her retirement?

Her mind began to wander through her past assignments. She was looking to see if she could really be on her own and not waiting for the next mission. Could she live on her own? Could she handle the real world without thinking that everyone was out to get her? She didn't know. She wondered if that was why they gave her this assignment. She would have to live with Alex for around six months before returning her to New York. Was it a test?

She thought back to Kiev. She thought it had all been a test in the end, a cruel and unforgiving test. So much of the mission had been redacted from the "official" record that she wasn't sure what she remembered when she woke up in Ramstein was the truth or her minds way of dealing with the shit she had been through. The Ukraine was a long time ago and miles away, but it never left her head.

She ran her hands up and down her arms. Her palm came to rest on the scars of the bullet holes in her right arm. It had taken six weeks for her to be able to hold her side arm again. Another six weeks to shoot it fully loaded and hit her target with all ten rounds. She cursed her time in Ramstein and then in Lakenheath still recovering. It was two years before they put her back in operation. Two fucking years of bouncing around from base to base in strategic places, waiting to see if they would use her. It was pure Hell for her mind. She didn't care that her body wouldn't let her fight as soon as she wanted. She didn't need to fight. She needed a scope and a target. She was looking for the pink mist.

Maybe it was those two years that broke her psyche a little. She was still reeling over the memories of Kiev. She blamed herself for getting too close. She didn't know that she was being played, or she just didn't want to see it. She couldn't believe that another operative had sold her out to the mark she had fallen for, the mark she was using to get to her father, the mark that shot her after Liv had completed her mission.

In Guam, they had finally cleared her. She was in the Pacific staring at the ocean when Cole came to her with orders. She was sure that he was handing her discharge papers. She stared at them for hours reading and rereading what they said. She was to report of Norfolk for some new combat gear and some training with the SEALs and some Marines before they headed into Afghanistan. She was gearing up to go. She felt like the world made sense again. And, for a while, it did. Then she got the orders from the Alphabets. They needed her to "tactfully" take care of an issue in Middle East.

That was four years ago and she hadn't looked back. Now, she was their go-to. She got to see more of the world than she had as a sniper, but she wasn't supposed to be a sniper. She was a pilot program and according to the Armed Forces, her unit didn't exist. She had a chest full of medals that were awarded, but none of the commendations mentioned the truth as to where or how. She didn't care. She was protecting the government and the land that she loved.

Time was a bitch and it had finally caught up with her. She was nearing forty-five and new that the younger ones would be getting all the best missions. She would be used only if necessary. She was training the next generation in tactical operations that she had done for twenty plus years. She was ready to live. She was looking forward to a beach and a beer. Then Alex fell into her lap. She was chosen because she was seen as the only answer to the problem.

By why me? She asked herself every hour that she had been with Alex. It wasn't until she was in that pasture that it made sense. Cole had hit the nail on the head. She was a lesbian. She hadn't hid that fact during her time with the military. They had purposefully used that for their own gain. No, they knew it and they knew it well. It was why she was sent to the Ukraine to begin with. They knew that Sergei's daughter had spent a lot of time in Berlin. She was known to frequent the "Love Parades." And, she was their way to Sergei.

If Alex was taking on the entirety of the Southern Colombian drug lords, what purpose would Liv have to protect her. Yes, she was one of the best assassins. Yes, she could spot a hide or potential hide at greater than five hundred feet. She had a better chance of keeping Alex alive than most of the agents that worked for the Alphabets. Liv just couldn't figure their angle. What was it about Alex that they wanted to control?

Liv knew that she should head to bed. It was late and the walk had done nothing for her. She was happy with Cole's protection devices and knew that they would have ample time if one were to go off in the middle of the night. He had already clued her into his escape routes and the escape tunnels that he had been digging. She knew that no one knew about those and she would use them to get out if something did happen.

She was making her way back to the house when she saw something on the back porch. She immediately drew her pistol. She was about to take aim when she saw her blond hair billowing in the breeze. Liv was taken with the picture that Alex was making on the porch. She looked like an angel. She replaced her sidearm and made her way back to the porch.

"You shouldn't be out here like that," Liv stated as she approached.

"I needed the air."

"I understand that, but you have no protection. I could have shot you. Anyone could have shot you. Do you understand that? You are a target. There is a big fucking bull's eye on you."

"I know that," Alex answered.

"Then why are you out here?"

"Because even Bull's eyes need to breathe," she replied.

Liv stopped. She couldn't argue with her logic. Alex had been locked up and with an agent for so long that she had forgotten what freedom really was. Liv understood that. She could sympathize with her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?'

"All of this," Liv stated.

"You didn't do this. I did. I created my own Hell and now I have to live in it."

"But, Alex, I …"

"Did you go after Zapata? No, you didn't. Did you go after the cartels? Well, maybe you did, but not like I did. I didn't back down. I refused to plead them out. I wanted to try them for everything and make it all stick. I wanted them to rot in prison. You didn't push them into putting that target on me. I did that," Alex explained.

"That may be true, but I did bring you here."

"You are doing your job, Liv. Never apologize to me for that. You are keeping my safe."

"You shouldn't be outside…alone."

"Then, keep me company."

Liv swallowed. She didn't know what to do. She hadn't had a meaningful interaction with anyone but her men in so long that she was afraid of Alex. She, who wasn't afraid of anything and could fight the worst evils in the world, was being frightened by her mark.

"Alex, I need to go to bed. You should, too. We have a busy schedule to keep."

"Where are we going?" Alex asked staring off into nothing.

"Illinois?"

"The land of Lincoln, interesting."

"Is there somewhere else you prefer?"

"Plenty of places, but I would be known there. So, I guess not. Your choices make more sense, now. Even if I was Emily, I would still need to stay away from those places, you know?"

"I understand better than you think I do."

"I don't doubt that."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you like to talk in your sleep," Alex stated.

"Meaning what?"

"I don't know what happened, but even I know enough Russian to understand what _nyet _means."

"I do not talk in my sleep."

"Sure you don't," Alex said, heading back into the house.

Liv stood there._ Shit, she knows, _was all she could think. What would Alex do when she found out what happened in Kiev? Cole only knew parts of it. Hell, she didn't want to go back down that road. It was too painful and she didn't want to relive it. She grabbed her arm instinctually. It was going to be a long night and Liv was probably not going to get any sleep, now.


End file.
